Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Yada Yada Yada

Doesn't it kind of suck, when you're feeling that 'ok, I'm not too shabby of a person,' and then you run into someone else who is wayyyyy better off than you, and then you think 'damnit'?

I know we shouldn't compare ourselves to other people, but...the other day I received an email from a fellow former Ad Teamer, who is this gorgeous graphic designer; she was sending us this email about how she participated in some graphic design contest, and that we could view the video on the internet. She also had a link to her online portfolio. I checked it out, and it was amazing. So not only is she beautiful, she's also talented and getting her ish together.

I started feeling a little bad about myself: no job, no real identifiable talent, and definitely not the model-type [but not that that should matter...].

So what's a girl, or for that matter a person, to do?

Delete the email.

[Haha, I didn't.] But really, I just gotta deal.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Failure By Design

I have been going through a rollercoaster of emotions this past summer...excitement, fear, regret, hope, sadness, joy, uncertainty... the list goes on and on.

I currently am unemployed, and I'm not sure what my next step in life will be. I know nothing is forever and we do have the ability to change, but it's a lot harder to do than say; I don't mean to say that we can't make changes, but if we go so far along with a decision or choice that turns out to not be the best, then you have "wasted" that time and those other missed opportunties. Sure, it may have been a learning experience, but when time and life is precious, those missed years mean a lot.

I am at a fork in the road, and I have to decide which path I'll take. I don't want to make the "wrong" choice, choose the wrong path...sometimes I wonder whether "things happen for a reason."

This post is very disjointed...more clarity and postings will come.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Keep On Movin'

This week has been a stressful week [but luckily things have calmed down]. I was busy working [45-ish hours] and trying to pack as well as figure out adult stuff [i.e. getting health insurance!]. It didn't help that I encountered ridiculously long bus rides and rude people along the way, but it's all good now.

So I've lent out my futon, tv, guitar, and mini-fridge. I thought about bringing my guitar, but there was no room...but maybe next time I'm down in LA...maybe I'll finally learn to play...although I probably should be focusing on finding a job first!

So yesterday I finally moved out of UCLA; four years of my life I had to pack up and schlepp out or throw away because I had no room/didn't need it. It was kind of bittersweet...I spent so long there and had gotten used to living there, so it was sad to see it go. But I know that fairly soon, I will be forgotten; I'll just be any other alumni that went there. The move was shorter than when I moved out of my old room, but I still had a lot of crap...I feel bad making my parents take it, since I won't be there to help unload, because...

I'm currently in Irvine, living with one of my sisters, who I owe majorly, by the way. I'm in her guest bedroom/office...it feels a little weird not living in a little room...but hopefully Irvine will treat me well.

That's it for now...but more updates in the future [?].

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

I coulda, woulda, shoulda...

So. There's a lot of things I should/could/would've done, that I didn't do this summer.

- getting in shape and exercising
- learning a language
- traveling
- finding a job